Inspired by the Wiser

I meant to write a post on Sunday, but didn't get around to it. This whole week's been plagued by fatigue, the result of studying for a difficult Biology test and an attenuated version of the flu.

I also spent some time creating a 7" album cover design for HAIM's song "Better Off." Though I consider myself a writer, I love visual art and music, so submitted a design. Additionally, I liked the cause: to support Art Against Knives, a youth-led initiative against violence, via Secret 7". You can view my submission here.

In other news: last night, I had a major revelation as to the format of one of my current projects (the Ines story, set in Brazil.) As you'll remember from this post, I've been struggling to write the story for knowledge/research reasons. However, I think my new format, inspired by Sandra Cisernos' "The House on Mango Street" (one of my favorite books, a collection of poetic vignettes) better fits the story's character and is more readable.

Between the two projects - "Better Off" and Ines' story - I've noticed a pattern. In both cases, I struggled for weeks to create a work .I spent hours researching and creating drafts, but for each, I was eventually inspired by works I already loved and admired. (In the visual art case, I was inspired by the cover of Gregory Alan Isakov's album "This Empty Northern Hemisphere.")

So what have my experiences taught me? That a new artist of any sort - whether her medium of choice be written, visual, audiovisual, you name it - must enthusiastically study her craft and seek inspiration in the work of artists older and wiser than herself.

Think "kung fu flick" - pretend you're the young hero of a martial arts movie, trying to become great through a master's tutelage:

Or maybe not.

I Survived! I Survived!

I survived NaNoWriMo!

It was a struggle, hitting that 50K mark. Others finished with insane word counts - I saw several over 100K. And then, of course, there were plenty who fought valiantly though weren't quite able to reach 50,000.

I did have my doubts throughout the month. Somewhere towards the end of Week 2, I really began to dislike my story. The characters seemed weak, the writing dull. The plot was going nowhere. I was losing faith.

Thankfully, I was able to (mostly) write my way out of the hole, reading over some of what I'd written to regain some confidence. I suffered and prevailed, and I now have a lovely, long, nearly-complete novel to edit. I won't try to work my way through the entire text this month, as some will be doing, but I'll work on it when possible. I'm currently loaded down with tests and applications - and edits to my sister's college apps.
So for right now, I'll be writing and considering ideas, but mostly taking a mini vacation. But before I go, I'd like to share with you the biggest lesson I received from NaNoWriMo: that a writer can't wait for inspiration. There is no such thing as "writer's block" - a completely inability to create new material, often cited as the cause of prolonged, creatively-dry periods.

If you're a writer, you've got to write, to push past tiredness and distraction. You can't wait for the right words. It's true that writers sometimes need breaks. I'm living proof; my break begins as soon as I finish this post. But for much of last year, during the first several months of the 2011-2012 school year, I wasn't producing anything. Not only did I not participate in NaNoWriMo 2011, but I barely wrote a word for weeks. It was the first time such a thing had occurred since I recognized my love for writing towards the end of the fifth grade.

Now, I'm determined to never let it happen again. Whatever career path I eventually choose to undertake, I want to continue writing. I don't care if I ever profit from my work; I write, first and foremost, for myself. Writing is a crucial piece of my identity; it causes me, challenges me, to view the world differently.

As a writer, it's my duty to constantly observe and reflect on the nature of the human condition. The role comes to me naturally; recording my observations, creatively transformed, only follows naturally. Thus, I've come to believe, not writing is denying a part of myself - the creative, expressive piece. Whether through blog post, poem, short story, novel, the medium of expression makes no difference.

Losing Faith

If you're a writer, how many times have you felt that first-draft rush? When you've just begun a new story and the possibilities seem endless? It's a great feeling, isn't it? And it never seems to last long.

The doubts come. Your characters seem flat, stereotypical. Your plot is going nowhere. You don't feel like much of a writer, and your production slows. You run out of inspiration, and you lose faith in your work.

I bring this up because I'm currently dealing with a loss of faith in my NaNoWriMo story. The necessity to produce to reach my daily word count has helped, but I'm still in a rough patch. My plot is dull, as well as my characters. I can't figure out a love interest or the specifics of my protagonist's personality. I can't even decide her age.

Loss of faith can hit us in a number of ways. One is creatively, like with writing. Another one I've witnessed in my sister. She's applying to colleges right now, and some low subject SAT scores have caused her to lose faith in her chances (despite an otherwise glowing application.) Now she's spending time telling herself she can't succeed rather than getting to work: she's lost sight of the goal.

So what to do when we've lost in faith in our work? Even in ourselves?

I've always found this one a difficult question to answer. When it comes to writing, I usually try to take a break from a piece, for a new perspective, which isn't much of an option here. So instead, I'm trying to remember what inspired me in the first place (as discussed in this post.) But I'm also trying to simply power through - to accept that not all of my ideas are very good, but still work with them. I have to tell myself that these words aren't wasted, but that they're helping me to craft a vision for this story. And generally, when one steps back from a story after some time, those words which seemed weak and unoriginal aren't nearly as poor as they felt during the writing process.

I guess my message is that it’s necessary for a writer to believe in herself, or if not, then to still power through, and believe that eventually she can eventually reach the level of quality she’s striving for.

How do you power through a project or rough patch despite a loss of faith?

Apologies & a Break from Writerly Woes

Now that I'm back to school, it's going to be harder than ever to post regularly. I'm considering decreasing my posts by half, for at least a month or two. But I'm still working on the final decision.

This week, I don't have time to write a proper post, but I'd still like to share something. (That is, besides updates on my various writerly woes, which I know you must be bored of.)

So here you go! - some of my current inspiration:

or: vimeo.com/36588368

&

Regina Spektor: On Growing Up A 'Soviet Kid'

Interview by NPR

Oh, Commitment

If you know me, it's no secret that I have troubles with commitment. I'll promise to write a blog post on Sunday and wait till Tuesday, promise to spend an hour with the WiP and spend 15 minutes writing a paragraph...

So. Commitment issues.

As every serious writer knows, it's not easy to complete every task we set ourselves up for. Writing can be a stressful process. It takes time, which those with full- or part-time jobs may find lacking. Personally, I find myself with an average of at least 2-3 hours of homework each night, plus 1 hour walks in the morning and at least 1 hour of community service activities every week day (from tutoring to Honor Society to a school community service club.) That's a lot to juggle, and I often don't get nearly as much sleep as I'd like. (I usually get about 6 hours of sleep during the school year.) My habits aren't healthy - I gain weight, feel stressed... and my writing is also affected. It's difficult to write every day - some days, I simply don't have the time, or am so tired that forcing words out is no more than an unpleasant chore.

So how to keep up productivity? In my view, morale comes first. So put in place a reward system. Write a poem and grab a bowl of ice cream. Finish a chapter and spend some time catching up on your favorite TV shows. And that brings me to an important point - don't neglect friends and family. Remember: writing is important, but you have a life to live! (Besides, experiences equal inspiration. I don't know about you, but most of my writing is somehow inspired by my experiences. Important events leads to new plots. My characters may be shaped by fictional characters, but for the most part they're based on myself and my interactions with friends and family.)

How do you stay committed to your writing? Do you use a reward system? What's your trick for balancing writing and life?